So I was on my way over to the Reed’s today to measure their property and take some notes, when I realized that my foreman has the measuring wheel, and he’s on the other side of town. I’ve got a tape measure, but it’s not fun using that for say, over 20 feet. Home Depot, I think. I’ll go pick up another one! But, not the kind my foreman has–that one’s $200, and I don’t need another $200 measuring wheel. In I go. Aisle 6, I’m told. There they are! Here’s one for $60, but I don’t want to spend $60. So I look at this:It’s the Mini Measure Revolution! Wow, that sounds good. Digital read-out, a button for yards/feet/meters, groovy orange color, $29.95! Yes, I know that it doesn’t look manly enough for any self-respecting landscaper, but it’s 30 bucks and it’ll do the job. Here’s a close-up of this Mini Marvel:I buy it and I’m on my merry little way, whistling a happy tune. And yes, that lasted all of about 5 minutes at the Reed’s. Why? Because this little Mini Monster bites. It’s terrible. I hate it. The wheels get caught on everything and you have to start over. A pebble? Mulch? A grain of sand? Too much for the Mini Monstrosity to take on. I’ll try it on smooth concrete! No way, it’s still too challenging. Plus, the handle only swivels up and extends, like, two feet, so I’m bent over the whole time like Whistler’s Mother.
My client comes out and eyes me curiously. “So…..do you need anything from me?” And I know he’s secretly thinking, “‘Cause I think I need a new landscaper…one who has the right tools!” ”No, I’m good,” I say lamely. As soon as he leaves, I chuck the stupid thing in the back of the truck and continue on with my trusty tape measure. I can do just fine with it, ’cause I got skilz.
Now, before you go on thinking, “Well, maybe it’s not good enough for a landscaper, but it’s surely good enough for me, a homeowner,” STOP. I know. You’re thinking when you plan that little bed out back by the shed, this little Mini Me will come in handy. But I promise you, it will not function properly or accurately on the smoothest piece of glass. Don’t buy it. The only thing it has going for it is the orange color (Go, Horns). This Mini Measuring Revolution does not revolutionize anything, so I give it Two Trowels down, Five Forks down, Six Shovels Down…let’s just put it down.