I love Mediterranean landscaping: the romantic greenery, the intoxicating scents of rosemary and lavender, the crunch of gravel underfoot. But I do not like this:What’s up with this? This is not a Tuscan villa. This is a home in suburban Austin, Texas, on a normal-sized lot. So let’s line our property with not 3, but 10 Italian Cypress. And by the looks of it, there were more on the right hand side, but they got the message from the Garden Gods and died. But, you say, “I like Italian Cypress!” That’s great, so do I, but the reason it doesn’t work here is one word: proportion. There’s waaaay too many for a yard of this size, for Pete’s sake!
More is not merrier in this case, and I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t tell you that. It’s my job, and I take it very seriously. I want you to have a pretty garden and to be the envy of the neighborhood, not the doofus that everyone talks about: “Yes, Mabel? Pearl here. We’re so looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night! Yes, well, we’re three houses down from the Italian Cypress House. Yes, I know, it’s so embarrassing, somebody should have told them, but what’re you gonna do?”
I rest my case.