“Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.” — John Lennon
Hellooooo, blogging world! I’ve been gone from my own site for a bit, but with good reason (don’t I always have a good reason?). In the past three and a half months, I’ve gotten engaged to the Hunky Foreman (is he now the Hunky Fiance?), moved in with him, and landed a book contract with my friend Kylee Baumle of Our Little Acre (details forthcoming!). I also graduated my younger son, Luke, from high school and moved my older son, Max, home for the summer. And sold a house. After I fixed it up. Oh, and Luke had his Eagle Scout Court of Honor. Yes, I’ve been busy!
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But, as a gardener, a huge chunk of my life has been missing. I lost many of my plants from the apartment–I just got so busy during the packing and moving that I didn’t properly care for them. When I moved to the Hunky Foreman’s house, I was preoccupied with unpacking and making his place “our place.” But no plants.
I thought, “I’ll spend this summer redesigning the vegetable garden,” but that has yet to happen. And I was reminded throughout this whole experience that plants aren’t just for looking at or for eating–they are integral to our sense of well-being, balance and soulfulness. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience? You’ve moved, gotten sick, got married, had a baby, buried a loved one, started a new job–any number of happy and challenging life changes–and you’ve struggled to keep up with your garden in the midst of it. No worries; you’re not alone.
Here are some ideas:
- Change your attitude. Not that you have a bad one, but you just have to give yourself a break. You’re not Super Woman/Man no matter what you or anyone else thinks. Neither am I. Some things will be let go, others re-prioritized. Know what is most important, focus on that and don’t beat yourself up. If your energy is going into caring for a new baby, that’s much more important than sowing your vegetable seeds according to a chart.
- Get some help. If you can’t care for some of your plants, ask a friend for help. It doesn’t need to be forever, just for a little while. “Hey, Bubba? I am so overwhelmed this month with my new job; will you come over and help me get my vegetable garden planted? I’ll share the bounty with you!”
- Don’t start anything new. I know, we gardeners love to tinker and try new projects. You’ve seen that pallet garden on Pinterest and you’re just dying to try it. But don’t. Unless you want a string of unfinished projects along with making yourself crazy. Put your efforts into simply maintaining what you have instead. And just to encourage you, I am not creating a hyperlink to that Pinterest project.
- Focus on one small area. Instead of redesigning the vegetable garden or building the chicken coop, I focused on our front porch. It’s a long porch, and it only took a little time to add some planters, arrange chairs, lay down the outdoor rugs that I had from my balcony garden and set up the fountain I had on hand. Now our front porch is charming and inviting, and my only garden chore is watering my porch plants. Perfect? Nope. But it’s good enough.
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This is one of the best blog posts I’ve read in a long time, probably because it’s just what I needed to hear. Thank you, dear friend (and co-writer!).
This post is inspirational because it gives us all permission to relax a little and enjoy a few moments on the front porch. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s very, very good. Thanks, Jenny!
Thanks, Kylee and Carolyn! Once I slapped myself upside the head, I relaxed and stopped feeling so guilty that I wasn’t expanding the gardens like I’d planned. It’s good enough to have the cutest front porch on the street!
Thank you for this! I know I need to spend less time fretting and worrying whether I’m doing the right things for my garden and more time simply being out in it. Or my front porch swing with a cold drink. “Our gardens are for providing beauty, balance, food and soul–not for making us crazy.” – I need write this down and put it somewhere where I can see it everyday.
Jenny
I didn’t get engaged. Still just married to slightly hunky husband but we did move. First to a rental until we finish building our urban almost empty nest house by the lakes in Minneapolis. Brought some plants with me and made a make-do kitchen garden because I couldn’t go a whole year without plants.
Your advice is spot-on!
And congrats.
Thank you, dear Jenny, for giving me permission to ease up just a bit. As you know, I have been training to become the first person to climb Mt. Everest walking backwards and blindfolded, and palace fountains have developed a touch of algae! I’ve been so ashamed, I’ve temporarily halted coach rides through the artichoke terraces and lavender maze lest I seem to be a slacker.
Absolutely loved this post – what a lesson in grace, creativity and how to step gracefully among the milestones of life!
Thank you so much, everyone. And Steve/Grumpy Gardener, it’s okay–you can finish your Jenny Peterson Topiary Garden next year. I won’t mind.
Thanks for all these reminders. Life does get in the way sometimes. Last year during the hyper-heat and drought i got into a really big funk and lost all desires to garden and was distracted with how hot I was! So happy we have new weather patterns for the time being and I’m out just maintaining what I have. Thanks jenny – good post!
Thanks, Chris! I appreciate that–I felt like that last summer, too, so I’m hoping next summer is my time for gardening! LOL
Smart advice, Jenny. We’ve all been in an overwhelmed moment or two, and it’s good to remember that it’s OK to let the garden (or whatever) slide during those times. But wowza, that porch looks so inviting now! Nice job!
Wonderful post and great tips. You’re smart to focus — but sometimes it’s easier said than done. I’m so glad you could do something to make yourself feel better while not overdoing it. That’s the perfect balance, isn’t it? We all need more of that in all aspects of our lives.
Excellent post, Jenny. We could all use that encouragement at some point… When my mom was in the last months of her life the garden was abandoned… But that was okay. I’m so happy for you by the way!
But….
I want to see that pinterest project…
Focusing on that one small area, rather than getting lost in the forest of possibilities is something I learned a long time ago.
When we make ourselves crazy over how everything needs to be worked on, nothing gets done….
And sometimes, we need to take the time to sit under a shade tree, and enjoy what we have…
There’s a bible passage about that in Ecclesiastes… the Byrds made it into a song…
Oh, and by the way…
Congrats on all the successes!
Book deals, engagements, moving, sold a house, helping the kids become successes…
I think that it may be time to simply be outdoors, and watch a bug crawl across a leaf!
Looks beautiful to me!
Shawna
One fun plant I am growing that is getting a lot of attention is my “Pet” TickleMe Plant! The TickleMe Plant is a crazy odd Tropical fun house plant that reacts as if it were being Tickled when you Tickle It!
See video..this is one that will go viral.
http://www.ticklemeplant.com See the TickleMe Plant in action and by all means grow your own!
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